


What letters are.

by Voidgremlin



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: DW Exchange 2020, F/M, Letters, Love Letters, from the multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:54:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voidgremlin/pseuds/Voidgremlin
Summary: A little Introspection from Rose Tyler and a small response from the Doctor.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3
Collections: DW Exchange 2020





	What letters are.

This is tricky.

This exercise is difficult and I would like to inform Dr Jones, if she ever read those (she promised she wouldn’t) that it is difficult and not nice to ask me to work overtime.

As part of my therapy I was asked to write my thoughts down and this is hell.

_I’m telling you. Giving me homework to do was not part of the plan. I didn’t dropped out to have stuff to do now. Even tho I did not dropped out on purpose._

It is supposed to help with my weird history, putting words on feelings and emotions, on moments of my life. _I did tell her that some instant of my life are nearly metaphysical but she chuckled. I don’t think she believed me but according to her, some dude with a pair of glasses, my time with you was- Let’s say deeply eventful._

I will get to it.

So I tried to do it at first, write it down but… Writing to no one is a little difficult. There’s no one you could imagine listen to you, answer, help you through those ideas. If I do not address those letters to someone, maybe the one who will read it will judge me harshly. And… I don’t want that. I want to be able to say the things I wanted to say. So…

So I thought of you.

Actually I always think of you. It is a little hard to explain. But I will.

So letters ! This is the first one so sorry if it is a little… Non-sense.

Hello Doctor,

This is Rose Tyler, I hope you remember me. I was the annoying girl who helped you with the nestene consciousness. Ring a bell ?

Jokes aside I do hope you are still remembering me. In some way. We- did not talked things through like we should have. And I guess it makes our story an open ended book ? Forever.

That is not a good thought all thing considered. Let’s change of subject.

Letters are… Uhm… No, no, no… Let’s try again. Letters of the alphabet will compose words that we will speak and that makes sentences and… Sentences makes and moves worlds. Shaping it to something more, something better, something clever.

I think that’s what your words did to me Doctor.

I will get to it.

Doctor. Isn’t it weird that a title became a name so familiar on my tongue ? I have now hard time to go to a medical professional without feeling weirded out, I cannot call them Doctor.

_Doctor, The Doctor this is your name. No one else._

See even here I can’t say it, write it at least. Weird no ? Well maybe not so weird. It’s like Rose, it was the name of a flower before being my own. But now, for myself and the people in my life, my world. Rose is not a flower, it is me. When they see a Rose, they might think of me and like that I have changed the world. Isn’t it crazy ?

You would say that: of course, I am one of the most important being in the world. Unique. Brillant even but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. I still struggle with daily issues, normal issues, earthly ones like with groceries, parking tickets and the occasional toaster that refuse to function well. All of this despite working to save the universe. This universe at least.

By the way, this job, while not as fun as travelling with you of course, is one of the weirdest job I got and I worked in retail !

I think I explained to you how retail worked but I am not sure I explained it well or if you listened. It is alright if you didn’t. This was a boring explanation like… Well… Retail.

Anyway, do you know how many times I got send a document from whatever alien nation that is willing to communicate with Earth and got asked to translate it ? (Because for some reason the translation matrix from your TARDIS is still active ? I think it reshaped my brain.) Well I got documents so many times ! Sometimes it’s nothing diplomatic, it can be just advertisement: like this one time when I got one for something called Jud-Un ! It must be to shine horns or something. Didn’t understood on how it would work (and our Earthly Rhinos doesn’t need those. Do they ?)

Anyway, my point is someone should teach humans of the twenty-first century new alien languages, my job is only to kick ass and do weird action hero poses, not translate stuff ! But find me a teacher from the future that would accept going in the past and teach primitive humans how guttural a Judoon sounds. Future people are so snobby, they would never accept. When I proposed the idea some people in the agency told me that I could be the one doing it but honestly I don’t think I should be the one doing this kind of stuff. I am not made to be a teacher. The poor students ! Imagine their faces if me, a blonde drop out, would teach them how to speak Silurian. Terrible.

Or terribly funny. Now that I think about it, it does sounds pretty funny. I should do it at least one day. I will tell you about it in my next letter. I promise.

.

.

.

I want to say to you is that.

You made an impact on my life. Changed everything I was. For the better or the worst according to some people. I don’t agree to that statement. You didn’t meant to make anything worse. But… Sometimes intention doesn’t count.

I don’t really know.

Remember that date we had ? Wasn’t really a date, you told me it was an exploration of the unknown and the fantastic. But it was a fancy restaurant owned by this pirate man ? I think. I am pretty sure he explained his whole backstory to us but my memory of it, is kind of blurry. Or I just didn’t paid attention. I was watching someone else…

I do think it is a date though, I don’t know for timelord’s standard but for Rose’s standard it is. I remember how excited you were, dragging me to this underground place, the entrance looked like a cave and we went down and down following this guide pirate blabbering about how this was shaped by his great-great-great-32 times more great grandfather to reach a groundwater table and the poor dude dug a little too deep and ended up just below the water. Here he made the decision to make something else of his tunnel.

And it was at this moment, that he showed us the place. A cave with tables and red carpet, under a dome glass that showed the inside of the groundwater.

Do you remember it ? Neon Jellyfishes that with its bright lights illuminated the whole place. It was… Beautiful. Gosh how beautiful it was. The soft lights illuminating your face and smile and the soft hum of the rock below us. We were at the center of the Earth. Eating dinner and observing creature of the big deep. Of course it went sideways, with a murder mystery but…

You showed this to me and I still dream about this sometimes. Holding your hand under those creature of the sea. Those images are part of me now.

_I hope you showed this to only me. Because otherwise I will rescind our friendship card._

Friendship uh? That is one way to call it.

I had friends who became lovers and lovers who became friends. And I have you.

And you are something else entirely.

You are… Impossible to describe. So vast, so wonderful. So clever and funny. I mean you are literally magic ! You travel to everywhere and nowhere. You give people hope, solutions to problems bigger than just you. And definitely bigger than just me.

And I was part of it. I still am, in some way. Part of it. Not the same level, not the same grandiose and definitely not the same taste to victory.

It was special with you. It was personal, it was beautiful and we won. We won so many times. We made them smile, we made them hope of better tomorrows and sometimes we kicked butts.

We knew secrets to the universe, while people kept running around blindly. We know so much more. And we helped. Somehow.

I miss this, this superiority, this knowledge of the future or of technology that made our adventures a lot less like stumbling on something new but like opening a gift and enjoy what was inside.

It is not quite like that now, similar but… I don’t know much. I know enough to get me out of tricky situations, not enough to help everyone else.

Do not worry, I will learn.

I do not love you for only those adventures but also on how you see me, you watch me try to make an union in outer space and I know you have this goofy smile and this pride. You gave me opportunities to prove myself, to be kinder when I didn’t thought possible before. To be more clever, showing more than one way to be intelligent. And I … I thank you for that. I always had it in me but I didn’t saw it before you saw it for me.

I think that’s who you are. In all your default and weirdness and pain. You always dig for something of worth in other. Putting it on the forefront, making it part of our identity, fully.

Making us more.

Making me, Rose Tyler again but with more pride in my voice. Those gifts are… priceless to me. And I can see the future with more faith in myself, not being let down by any bumps on the way. I know I can do it. I know. I will do it.

I just wish to do it with you by my side. Seeing you smile is addictive and seeing you proud and happy is such a beautiful goal.

Your smile sometimes light up more than one face.

You trusted me with so many things, so many secrets. And I trusted- trust you with so many of mine. I don’t think I can do that with anyone else. You were my person. You are my person. And I still hold the wish to see you again. Just for that one smile.

I am sorry, it ended that way. I was maybe too daring or maybe it is just fate. In the end I am not stuck in a bad place… Just a place without the Doctor. With less magic.

It ended abruptly, our call, last call. And I wanted you to say it. Make it real with your magic words that shapes universes. You couldn’t.

I guess that is what I want ? A way to close our story ? Make all the hardship and difficulties and joy and happiness means something ? Because to me. They meant the world. They were my world. But It won’t make any sense without you reciprocate at least a part of those feelings.

Can you say it ?

Can you tell me what you wanted to say ?

Can you give me …

Nevermind.

In hope that this letter find you well and loved.

You have, my dearest Doctor, all my love and all my wishes for better tomorrows in your future.

Rose Tyler.

* * *

Dear Ms Tyler.

Rose ? How does ? Hell hold on. I am struggling with the voice to text option. It is hard to find words. I will just… Two seconds, I will get rid of this and type it down like a human. Seriously guys you should develop telepathy one d-

Done.

Dear Rose,

I have no idea how you managed to send this letter or if you meant to send it to me, through parallel universes. I do not know how and it worries me, please confirm in some way that all is well on your side of the multiverse.

I am pleased to hear that you are well and seeking a medical professional, it is good. And do not worry about the non-sense of the letter. I really make sense myself, in real life. So we are even.

You are right, I do think of you when I see a rose as well as any orange tabby cat. I think of you. You shaped my universe in so many little ways. Who knows how much ripple effect it will have in the future. Maybe I will be a blonde just like you. (Again but with more hair styles).

We will see.

Rose Tyler inter-spacial translator ! My dear you have so many talents ! I won’t be surprised if one day they tell me you are the president of the universe. It is so amazing that you are able to do such things ! And please tell me how the class of Ms Tyler went ! I want to know about it !

I remember it, the neons jellyfish, the cave. It was beautiful and you were beautiful. And it was not a date just… Okay well maybe it was a date. But … This location is only between us. I haven’t shared this with anyone. It was a good moment, a beautiful moment. And I want to keep it between us.

Rose, you are many good things. You are kindness, Fun and love. You are impossibly brave, wonderfully gentle and clever. My Rose, you are everything to me. You helped me through so much hurdles.

But my life is long and tortuous, many people to love, many people who loved me. Loss, Found and everything in between. Words doesn’t always encompass, the feelings or the memory it should carry. That’s I don’t say the things that should be said and drown everything else with words.

You know me. Enough at least to not need things to be said. But what happened did not just put us apart, it also, as you as said, ended our story and you are right. Now is the time where things need to be said. Truthfully, openly. With honesty.

My dear Rose, I want to say, that in all our moments together, there is not one I cherish less than the other. That you are part of me and you will always shape my world in some ways, no matter how far away in time we are apart. I will carry you with me forever.

Rose Tyler, words on the paper will not share all the weight of my care for you and the wish to see you again and well. I will keep this hope until I am not of this world.

In hope that this letter reaches you, in some way and that no cataclysmic event is about to happen.

Rose Tyler, I love you.

Your Doctor.


End file.
